The Difference Between SM and Abuse
- An SM scene is a controlled situation.
- Abuse is an out-of-control situation.
- Negotiation occurs before an SM scene to determine what will and will not happen in that scene.
- One person determines what will happen.
- Knowledgable consent is given to the scene by all parties.
- No consent is asked for or given.
- The "bottom" has a safeword that allows them to stop the scene at any time they need to for physical or emotional reasons.
- The person being abused cannot stop what is happenning.
- Everyone involved in the SM scene is concerned about needs, desires, and limits of others.
- No concern is given to the needs, desires, and limits of the abused person.
- The people in the SM scene are careful to be sure that they are not impaired by alcohol or drug use during the scene.
- Alcohol or drugs are often used before an episode of abuse.
- After an SM scene, the people involved feel good.
- After an episode of abuse, the people involved feel bad.
Lesbian Sex Mafia (LSM) is a group for lesbian, bisexual, heterosexual, and transexual women who are interested in exploring SM, fetishes, BD, and uninhibited sexual expression in a safe, sane, consensual, and confidential way.
For more info on Lesbian Sex Mafia (LSM):
Lesbian Sex Mafia (LSM)
Safe, consensual and confidential!
P.O. Box 993, Murray Hill Station
New York, NY 10156
Subscribe to LSM's email announcement list: http://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe.cgi/lsm-nyc
(My thanks to Lolita - LSM National Outreach Officer - for giving me permission to repost this statement.)
Webmaster's Links: Additional Reading on BDSM and Abuse
- BDSM vs. Abuse by Sir Bamm!
- Statement on Abuse from the Leather Leadership Conference
- Abuse in BDSM by SilverOz
- Signs Your Partner May Be Abusive
- Abuse vs Erotic Power Exchange: part five of eight in the BDSM Background Information series of articles from the POWERotics Foundation
- Personal Bill of Rights
- Abuse vs. BDSM Section of this web site