EvilMonk.org: Ambrosio's BDSM Site

What is Healthy and UnHealthy Communication?

Healthy Communication:

  • Respect your partner: Show empathy
  • Give your partner the benefit of the doubt
  • Make communication time a priority, Listen actively
  • Maintain eye contact (as much as is possible)
  • Maintain a clear perspective of the past, present & future
  • Be honest and don't assume anything. When in doubt ask for more information
  • Take time out if things get too intense, but always agree to come back and talk about the feelings.
  • Refrain from blaming or shaming
  • Use "I" statements I feel, I hear, I see... "you" statements are pointing the finger, and will usually result in defensive responses

UnHealthy Communication

  • Shows resentment, is inflexible
  • Withdrawals both emotionally and physically, blames the other person
  • Escalates discussions into arguments, evades important issues
  • Is dishonest
  • Does not communicate ...talks "at", not "to"
  • Assumes the partner knows your desires, thoughts and needs, and is angry when they get it wrong
  • Spends more time interrupting, rather then listening

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Further Reading on Relationships (Dating and Communication)

More on Finding Partners

More on Meeting Safety

More on Negotiation

More on Contracts