What is Healthy and UnHealthy Communication?
Healthy Communication:
- Respect your partner: Show empathy
- Give your partner the benefit of the doubt
- Make communication time a priority, Listen actively
- Maintain eye contact (as much as is possible)
- Maintain a clear perspective of the past, present & future
- Be honest and don't assume anything. When in doubt ask for more information
- Take time out if things get too intense, but always agree to come back and talk about the feelings.
- Refrain from blaming or shaming
- Use "I" statements I feel, I hear, I see... "you" statements are pointing the finger, and will usually result in defensive responses
UnHealthy Communication
- Shows resentment, is inflexible
- Withdrawals both emotionally and physically, blames the other person
- Escalates discussions into arguments, evades important issues
- Is dishonest
- Does not communicate ...talks "at", not "to"
- Assumes the partner knows your desires, thoughts and needs, and is angry when they get it wrong
- Spends more time interrupting, rather then listening
Further Reading on Relationships (Dating and Communication)
More on Finding Partners
- Some Notes on Networking, Cruising, and Dating by Ambrosio
- Ten Tips for the Novice, Single, Heterosexual, Submissive Woman by Jay Wiseman
- Three Essays on Finding a Domme by Ms Margo
- Some Notes on Safety for Meeting Online and Off by Ambrosio
- A Surprising Discovery by Ambrosio
- Letter to a Friend by Wanderer
- Help! My spouse is into EPE -- part of BDSM Background Information, a series of articles from the POWERotics Foundation
- Response to a Kinky Woman by Sir Edward of Dragon's Lake
- Three Essays on Finding a Domme by Ms Margo
More on Meeting Safety
- Some Notes on Safety for Meeting Online and Off by Ambrosio
- Thoughts on Safety by Mistress Constance
- Safecall Guide and Outline by Sir Bamm!
- Ask the Therapist: What Do I Do about a Dangerous Top? by William A. Henkin, Ph.D.
More on Negotiation
- Negotiation and Negotiation Forms by Jay Wiseman
- Negotiations by Sir Bamm!
- Eight Techniques for Maintaining Communication and Trust During a Scene by Chris M
- What is Healthy and UnHealthy Communication? Author Unknown
- Submissive BDSM Play Partner Check List
- BDSM Partner Checklist in Word 6 format (reformatted by baebe)
- BDSM Submissive Play Partner Checklist in Online Email format
More on Contracts
- Some Criteria for Consensual Master-Slave Contacts by Ambrosio
- Sample Consensual "Slavery" Contract (Author Unknown)
- Temporary Consensual "Slave Contract" by Diane Vera
- Temporary Consensual "Slave Contract" Author Unknown (This appears to be an unknown author's revision of an article by the same name written back in the early 1980's by Diane Vera.)
- Contract for Discipline for switchable couples by Don (The Switching Network)
Miscellaneous
- Ms Siren and boy john's Collaring Ceremony
- Ask the Therapist: How Do I End a Relationship?
- Polyamory and BDSM in the History and Protocol section: the choice to practice responsible non-monogamy
- Relationship Section: More articles about --- and additional links for --- Dating and Communication
