Leather Bar Hanky Code

This page is dedicated to clay of Austin.
For decades, hankies (bandanas) have been worn -- in the left or right back pocket -- at Gay leather bars and runs to signal interest or specialization in particular sexual practices. It's also been adopted by gay leather women and some heterosexuals in the BDSM scene. But I caution against investing too much in the study of hankies. In Ask Larry Larry Townsend explains:
The wearing of colors (hankies) to display one's interest has been the subject for much tongue-in-cheek advise. Several of the most widely circulated lists have resulted from a couple of guys sitting down and trying to tag every conceivable activity with the most outlandish hue imaginable. (p.60-61)
Also understand that there are multiple versions of the hanky code -- mostly determined by region. Most likely over time the symbolism will codify as one version of the code will predominate over the Internet and become the most widely accepted. (Such is the nature of our wired world.)
For you convenience and amusement, here is one such "Hanky Code":
Worn on Left | Color | Worn on Right |
---|---|---|
Heavy S&M Top | Black | Heavy S&M Bottom |
Looking for Femme Bottom | Black Lace Hanky | Femme Bottom |
Bondage Top | Grey | Bondage Bottom |
Fister | Red | Fistee |
Golden Shower Top | Yellow | Golden Shower Bottom |
Scat Top | Brown | Scat Bottom |
Piercer | Purple | Piercee |
Anal Sex, Top | Dark Blue | Anal Sex, Bottom |
Wants Oral Sex | Light Blue | Expert at Oral Sex |
Dildo User, Top | Light Pink | Dildo User, Bottom |
Likes Drag | Lavender | In Drag |
Uniform Top | Olive Drab | Uniform Bottom |
Sixty-niner | Robin's Egg Blue | Sixty-niner |
Genital Torturer | Teal Blue | Genital Torturee |
Breast Torturer | Dark Pink | Breast Torturee |
2-Handed Fister | Dark Red | 2-Handed Fistee |
Likes Menstruating Women | Maroon | Is Menstruating Woman |
Likes Navel Worship | Mauve | Navel Worshiper |
Likes Armpit Worship | Magenta | Armpit Worshipper |
Has 8" or More | Mustard | Size Queen |
2 Looking for 1 | Gold | 1 Looking for 2 |
Anything Goes | Orange | Not Now, Thanks |
Two Tons O'Fun | Apricot | Chubby Chaser |
Foot Fetish Top | Coral | Shrimper |
A Cowboy | Rust | His Horse |
Spanker | Fuschia | Spankee |
Dines off Tricks | Lime Green | Dinner Plate |
Rimmer | Beige | Rimmee |
Uncut Possessor | Brown Lace | Likes Uncut |
Cut Possessor | Brown Satin | Likes Cut |
Latex Fetish Top | Charcoal | Latex Fetish Bottom |
Owns a Suit | Gray Flannel | Likes Men in Suits |
Masturbate Me | White | Will Masturbate Both |
Shaver | Red/White Stripes | Shavee |
Likes Black Bottom | Black/White Stripe | Likes Black Top |
Likes Latino Bottom | Brown/White Stripe | Likes Latino Top |
Likes Oriental Bottom | Yellow/White Stripe | Likes Oriental Top |
Likes White Bottom | White Lace | Likes White Top |
Wears Boxer Shorts | Paisley | Likes Boxer Shorts |
Star F*cker | Silver Lame | Star |
Wants Muscleman Bottom | Gold Lame | Wants Muscleman Top |
Has Tattoos | Leopard | Likes Tattoos |
Smokes Cigars | Tan | Likes Cigars |
Rubber/Mud, Top | Wine | Rubber/Mud, Bottom |
Bartender | Cocktail Napkin | Bar Groupie |
Tearoom Top | Doily | Tearoom Bottom |
Cuddler | Teddy Bear | Cuddlee |
Gives Oil Massages | Handywipe | Wears It Well |
Rides a Motorcycle | Chamois | Likes Bikers |
Outdoor Sex, Top | Mosquito Netting | Outdoor Sex, Bottom |
Lover's Out, My Place OK | Toothbrush | Your Place ONLY |
Further Reading on Etiquette and Protocol in a BDSM and Leather Context
- The Manners and Traditions Section of "Ambrosio's BDSM Site" at http://www.EvilMonk.org/A/manners.cfm
- "Play Nice: Some Notes on Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol" by Ambrosio at http://www.EvilMonk.org/A/protocol.cfm
- Part 1: General Principles
- Part 2: More Specific Guidelines
- Part 3: Cruising With Class
- Part 4: Play Parties
- Part 5: Flagging, Symbols, and Rituals
- Part 6: A Few Notes on High Protocol
- Part 7: In Closing
- The Entire Article on a Single Page
- "Etiquette for the Scene" by Rose at http://www.EvilMonk.org/A/etiquette.cfm
- "Civility and Incivility in the Scene" by
Chris M [Black Rose of Washington DC] at http://www.EvilMonk.org/A/chrism01.cfm - "A Proposed 'Pansexual Protocol'" by Ambrosio at http://www.EvilMonk.org/A/ppp.cfm
- "To Share or Not to Share?" by Rowan Ste. Julian at http://www.EvilMonk.org/A/share.cfm
- "Commandments: Ten Rules for Dominants / Ten Rules for Submissives" (from the SOJ) at http://www.EvilMonk.org/A/t10c.cfm
- For further reading, there is an etiquette guide for alternative sexuality and lifestyle situtations including but not limited to BDSM: Campbell, Drew, The Bride Wore Black Leather ... and he looked fabulous! Greenery Press: Emeryville, 2000.
Links About "Old Guard" Leather
More on the "Old Guard"
- The Old Guard History, Origins and Traditions By Guy Baldwin, M.S. (from The Ties That Bind)
- Old Guard? If You say so. By Joseph W. Bean
- The Myth of the Old Guard By Jack Rinella from his Leather Views site.
- Old Guard, New Guard By
Gayle Rubin - Multiple Tops: Master, Mistress and Daddy Makes Three By Master L.J.E. An Old Guard view of 'Net Generation polyamoury.
- Marginalia on the Old Guard, Leather Traditions, and BDSM History By Ambrosio
- Rover's column in the December 1973 issue of California Scene Magazine: Earliest documented use of the phrase "old guard" in a Leather context.
- "Old Guard" Links on the Manners and Traditions page.
Further Reading on Etiquette in General
- Etiquette by Emily Post: This is an online republication of the 1922 edition of Emily Post's 627-page first edition Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home (The 1922 edition is the most highly recommended book for High Procotol.)
- U. S. Flag Protocol (Title 4)
- George Washington's "Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour In Company and Conversation"
- Cardinal Newman On Being a Gentleman
- Passage from Jane Austen's Northhanger Abbey
Further Etiquette and Protocol Links
- Additional links in the "Manners and Traditions" section at http://www.EvilMonk.org/A/manners.cfm