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Sample Party Rules
This section includes an old version of the SAS/M Party Rules offered as one example of rather standard rules. (The rules have since been revised. For the most accurate and current version ot their rules, visit the SAS/M site.) The Civics section has more information on Play Parties and the Manners and Traditions section includes more on etiquette.
- Do not make assumptions. Negotiate all scenes. Do not assume that the presence of someone at this party means they are available. Do not involve yourself in a scene without an invitation.
- Never touch anyone, their equipment, or belongings without permission.
- Privacy and discretion are to be respected. All information about party activities, attendees, etc. is to be considered confidential. Do not bring cameras or other recording devices.
- Treat everyone with equal respect -- Doms, Subs, Switches, and Staff alike.
- Play sober. Do not bring alcohol or recreational drugs to the party.
- Smoking will be at the discretion of the Board of Perverts. Smoking will be allowed in established smoking areas only.
- Please be prepared with something to cover your more daring clothing -- or lack thereof -- when you go outside the party space.
- No genital or anal penetration, oral sex or exchange of bodily fluids.
- Solicitation for sexual services is not allowed.
- Please agree on safe words for scenes. "Red" will be a default safe word.
- Respect scenes. Limit conversation and screaming in the play area. Don't crowd the playing areas.
- Respect the playspace. Clean up after messy scenes. Use a drop cloth when waxing. No scat or water sports.
- Limit play to the playspace. Do not engage in play outside the Dungeon Monitor's line of vision.
- Don't bring guns.
- Dungeon Monitors have the final word on everything including the right to stop an unsafe or abusive scene. Check with the DM before any fireplay (waxing, cupping, flash paper, etc.), piercing, or bloodsports.
- Don't be a dick. (This is more concise than earlier rules and it has the advantage of being harder for people who work in bad faith to circumvent. There are some toxic people who manage to violate the spirit of party rules while adhering to the specifics. A more general rule like this one is harder to violate.)
- Negotiate down during a scene (e.g., "We had agreed that you could touch my genitals but I've changed my mind. Don't touch me there.") Don't negotiate up during a scene. (e.g., "We had agreed that your top will stay on during the scene, but let's just take it off anyway. Wouldn't that be better? Sure it would!")
- Ten Tips for Novice Dungeon Monitors by Jay Wiseman
- Dungeon Masters by SubtleDeath
- The Black Rose DM Guide by Chris M.
- Comprehensive Dungeon Monitors Guide (2003) by Sir Bamm! and His! t
- NLA-Austin Dungeon Monitor Training Manual
- The Health & Safety section of this site: More articles on and resources for general BDSM safety, medical advise, emotional health & psychological issues, sexually transmitted infections including hepatitis, support groups, medical sites on the internet, and finding a doctor
- The Civics section of the this site: More articles on "throwing dungeon parties."