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Advice on Hosting BDSM Parties
Munch Do's And Don'ts:
Party Rules From A Tangled Web
Presented for your enjoyment and edification. Please feel free to use these working rules I have developed as a model for your own space, or repost with attributions. Thanks, and enjoy!
This space is kept open as a community resource area, and I would very much like to see everyone take pride in it. Any member of the community or any group in the community may make arrangements to use the space, so long as the basic precepts are followed. Treat the space nicely, clean up after yourselves, don't do property damage or incite the neighbors, pay your fair share of your cost of using the space. Each should give according to hir ability; if you are broke and you want to enjoy the space, you can make arrangements to contribute your labor or your skills in some way. If you have money, donate some fair and affordable sum when you use the space and enjoy its resources.
I don't mind breaking even and making nothing on social events as the rent is paid for by the pro sessions business that runs out of here on weekdays, but I do mind paying out of my own pocket for everyone else's partying, AND cleaning up after it. Please keep this in mind, and make it a point to contribute as much as you consume, or more if you can afford it to help cover for other community members who can't. Contributions of the following supplies are always welcome: paper plates, cups and tableware, napkins and paper towels, toilet paper, garbage bags and cleaning supplies. These we use a lot of at parties.
Fun benefits of A Tangled Web playspace:
The space itself is free. Bring/replace supplies used, clean up, and you can party here all you like. I like it when SM parties come to me; it saves me a commute. Party organizers who want a cozy, cheery and well-equipped San Francisco East Bay space to host their events in, feel free to email me. The calendar tends to fill up about a month and a half in advance, so email early.
1/2 block from a BART station in the East Bay. Easy freeway access, too. Parking not difficult.
Serious pro and semi-pro cook(s) on premises who will cater Munches for fun if you buy groceries and clean up the kitchen. Full espresso and coffee bar, with Torani syrups, latte steamer and iced cappucino shakes which must be tasted to be believed. All done at cost; you bring replacement ingredients or donate to the kitchen kitty, ask a staff member how to operate the equipment (it's self serve unless you persuade the staff that a whole bunch of people want coffee) and clean up after yourself. Coffee machine users, do NOT forget to turn the pot off and wash up before you leave, please.
Nice dungeon with St Andrew's cross, bondage bed and isolation box to play in. More standing equipment coming soon. Secondary play room (no shoes allowed in this area) has a professional massage bed with built-in neat-o features, and is decorated with a sensuality theme. The front room has a medical exam table and a VCR with a collection of kinky movies.
You don't have to bother dressing up in uncomfortable fetish gear to show off your wobbly bits if you don't feel like it; this is a space for the community to relax together as BDSM family, and there is no dress code. Alternatively, if you feel that you will express yourself best by dressing up as elaborately as you want, please feel free to do so - just don't scare the neighbors, and enter the space discreetly.
Limits of the space:
Discretion with neighbors necessary. No very loud music or noise; please no fetish wear that is not covered by a coat or jacket out of doors. NEVER show up at the door unannounced; this is grounds for being banned from the space as it can interfere with our only means of paying rent on the space and maintaining its existence. This is a working professional sessions house, and we have an ethical trust to maintain the privacy of our clientele. If you drop in unannounced, you may be disrupting a professional session in progress. Don't do it. Ever. Even if you know where the space is. Call first, and be considerate of our working hours - they are what pay the rent on your party space, so that you can enjoy it at a cost as low as we can make it.
It ain't huge. Maximum number of people accomodated is something like 30, otherwise it gets rather crowded. The infamous SushiMunch accommodated something like 60 people, but it got kind of tight in there and was standing room only for the peak times of the event. Let's keep the party groups slightly smaller for awhile....
I reserve the right to be the ONLY person giving actual directions and reservations for all parties. Guests who have abused hospitality in the past (not cleaned up after themselves, or consumed a great deal more than they have contributed) will be timed-out for one or more events or not invited back at all. Showing up at the door without a reservation is A Very Bad Thing. Repost party notices wherever you want, but no one can simply show up without a reservation made through me. First come, first served; when the reservations get full, I'll have to start turning people away. Ie, don't call the day of the party to see if you can come; chances are it will be too late.
The usual safety rules for body fluid continence and safe play apply. If you are not already well educated on the subject, ask. You may not put your body fluids on any surface (doorknobs, walls, chairs, etc) as this is unsafe; naked people need to sit on sheets or towels (bring your own) or wear latex. We do not put out latex supplies en masse, and we encourage you to bring your own, but if you are in real need you can ask a staff member and borrow what you need from our dungeon supplies.
This is a semi-dry site, which means alcohol is not banned, but no one will drink and play. Exceptions made for tiny bits of liqueur as a dessert flavoring, one bottle of someone's special home brewed mead shared in small sips among the entire crowd at dinner, etc. I would like to be able to trust my guests to be responsible, but if this policy is abused, the site will become 100% dry and you will all be missing my flaming Grand Marnier Souffles. :< Anyone who ever gets intoxicated on my premises will be permanently banned. Consider this a safeword.
Clean up after yourself. Everyone should at the very minimum pick up aftert themselves, and preferably volunteer 10-15 minutes for general space cleanup before they leave. As hosting 2-3 events a month here makes for massive amounts of garbage and a sky-high garbage bill for me, if you have underutilized garbage pickup space, please take a bag of garbage and/or recycling with you when you leave.
Be as nice to one another as you are to the space; if you make another guest uncomfortable, you can be asked to leave. Use common sense and courtesy. This space is for fun, happy, friendly perverts to have great dinner parties and wonderful conversation and to play. Note that "play" is listed last; while no safe form of play is banned and all are encouraged, if you come to these events just to "cruise" for instant sexual gratification, you will probably be disappointed and you may make others around you very uncomfortable. Relax, have a nice dinner, enjoy the friendly "BDSM family" atmosphere, and treat people first as friends and only second as potential play partners, and you'll have a much better time.
Thanks for taking the time to read and respect these rules. I hope you enjoy the hospitality of our party space!