SD's Utterly Unofficial Tips for Getting Along on ASB

5) There is one exception to #4: Real Life nonconsensual behavior, aka abuse, is not OK with us. Many of us embrace the motto: "safe, sane, consensual". Many others reject "sane" as too judgemental, and some reject "safe" because they feel, accurately, that all of wiitwd (what it is that we do) has risks (each of us must determine what level of risk is acceptable to hir ("him or her")). But almost all of the highly contentious bunch that frequent ASB believe in the criticality of consent.

6) Certain things are best not posted to ASB, which is a noncommercial discussion group:

7) Please do not send rude "wannas" (short for "wannafuck"). Polite notes of appreciation for posts are welcome, and polite notes of introduction with a restrained expression of interest are acceptable, unless sie (he or she) has indicated that they are unwelcome. If the message receives a note of refusal - polite or otherwise -please accept it graciously. If the message receives no reply, please accept that as a tacit refusal, and remember that no one is obliged to answer an email.

8) Please do not gratuitously attack (flame) other posters. Most errors are from ignorance rather than malice, and a polite note in email is both appropriate and usually sufficient. We are all ignorant about some things, and we can all make better use of instruction than abuse. However, malicious misconduct or misconduct that continues in the face of instruction opens one to flamage.

9) Though ASB can be quite contentious, it can also be a friendly and supportive community, and it's quite willing to welcome newcomers. When you've taken a look at the documents and lurked long enough to feel comfortable, please do join in the discussion. Many people formally "de-lurk" and introduce themselves, but if you'd prefer not to talk about yourself, just join in with a contribution to one of of the many discussions ("threads") that are going on at any time. Also, feel free to ask questions. There are no stupid questions, and almost any question will get an answer. Often several contradictory answers, but almost always an answer.

10) If you don't want to de-lurk just yet, many of us are quite willing to receive unsolicted mail, and will be glad to exchange email with you. Email is private, so please be careful that when you reply to email you don't inadvertently send it to the newsgroup. Some people, for their own reasons, do not want email, and if they ask that no email be sent, or ask that you stop mailing them, please respect that. Also, while many of us are happy to correspond, remember that some people are very busy, and may not be able to respond to all the mail they receive.

11) Please have respect for privacy and confidentiality. Many people are in vulnerable positions, and could be harmed if some information were too widely disseminated. Some things to consider: don't use real names given in confidence, don't tell the net what a person did in scene w/o hir permission (save, in rare cases, as a warning), and don't give out personal data about a person - even if it could be easily found with a little research - unless you *know* it's OK with hir.


Steven S. Davis  * sd@magenta.com * ssdavis@netaxs.com * ssdavis@ot.com
Homepage, vanilla: http://links.magenta.com/~sd
Homepage, kinky  : http://links.magenta.com/lmnop/users/sd/sd.html
                   http://links.magenta.com/lmnop/intro.html (go to Users)
Stories archive  : ftp://asstr.org/pub/Authors/sd

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